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Jenny

Suspended


Every branch of every tree

Every needle of every evergreen

Every inch of the natural world

Coated in glass

Slick with ice sheaths

Frozen in place

Holding their breath

Elegantly captured

Suspended in stillness


For almost three days, the ice storm had us without power. And tens of thousands of our neighbors. Ulster County was ‘ground zero’ of the outages. What was there to do but fire up the generator, wait for the restoration, and pray that all would have a warm and safe place to lay their heads.


We have a generator so our basic needs were met - heat during sub-zero temperatures, a functioning well pump and hot water heater, and lights that illuminated with the flick of a switch. A wood stove to generate extra warmth in the kitchen and a woodshed stocked with wood. The only concern was for our pup Lizzy burning herself in her quest to be as close as possible to the ambient stove heat. We even have a Wi-Fi hotspot as a back-up relic from our pre-WiFi days, so could binge watch Weeds - or something more productive…


This is where I got myself twisted up. Once we figured out the logistics of keeping the generator running - how many hours until it’s out of gas? Which gas stations are open? Do we have enough cash on hand since the credit card machines are down? Which roads are closed because of downed trees? Once that was all sorted and I got used to the constant hum (some might say growl) of the generator running 24/7, then I figured it was time to get to work.


I had plans to finish prepping my taxes, put some energy into Jenifer Juniper, draft emails for Conscious Quitting, plan the garden and orchard, order seeds and live stakes, write a newsletter. Lots of plans, lots of lists, lots of to-dos.


I kept getting distracted. I couldn’t focus. It was hard to ‘accomplish’ anything. I was disappointed in myself for not checking anything off my list the first day. Resolving to do better, I went to bed dreaming of all the work I would do the next day. And then the morning got away from me. My mind wandered. The dogs needed walking. The TV needed watching. The puzzle needed making. The generator needed refilling. The food needed cooking. The kitchen needed cleaning. And instead of beating myself up, I surrendered. I followed the example just outside my window, and I paused. With no guilt. With no running to-do list picking at me from inside my head. I accepted the way the day was flowing and instead of putting pressure on myself to do more more more, I embraced the suspension of time. I languished in the suspension of time. I cozied up like the trees and rested.


And thanked Mother Nature for showing me the way.

Again and again.



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3 Comments


Christa Lynch
Christa Lynch
Feb 10, 2022

Beautifully said. REST. Why is it so hard?! Mother Nature is a wonderful teacher when we can listen.

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wilmaklo
Feb 08, 2022

Well said. So hard to just be. Sp amazing from mother nature, persistently reminding us - we are perfect as we are.

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Carolina Uribe
Carolina Uribe
Feb 07, 2022

beautifully written and nicely done! all the to do lists will be there when you’re ready to tackle them… proud of you for pausing and for not feeling guilty about it! Carolina

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